It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
