Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
