I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
