Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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