If i come over, it means nothing
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
