if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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