If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
