so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
