Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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