Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
