she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
