I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
