That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
