but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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