I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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