This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
did i just pee glitter
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
