I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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