why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
