If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
We left an ass print on the piano.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
