He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
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