I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Screwed.edu
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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