You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Randomize
