I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
