She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Mom said you looked used
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
