I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
