This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
