doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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