I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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