she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
