omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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