i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Two words: nipple clamps
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