Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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