quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
