You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
