you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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