Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
