You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
the liver wants what the liver wants
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
