is your mom at the bar?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
