One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
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