Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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