Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
So apparently I’m into choking now
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