11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
