turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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