i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
i already hear my dad disowning me
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
