I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
