This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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