..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Your cock deserves a montage
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
