just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
