SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
