oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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