never play flip cup with pint glasses
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
