I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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