Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
