You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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