Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize