pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
