i need an iv and a liver transplant
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
