I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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