About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Randomize
