Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
