Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
