Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
