You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
