so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
