Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
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